Children who are exposed to intimate partner violence (IPV) are not all affected equally or in the same ways. For many children, exposure to IPV can be very traumatic, and their reactions are often similar to reactions to other traumatic stressors.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) highlights important immediate reactions and long-term effects of IPV exposure. Immediate reactions include sleeplessness, nightmares, difficulty concentrating, increased aggression, attachment concerns, and increased concerns about their safety or safety of a parent (NCTSN, 2022). Long-term effects, especially from chronic exposure include physical health problems, behavioral problems, such as delinquency, alcohol or substance abuse, and emotional difficulties in adulthood, such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD (NCTSN, 2022).
Additionally, exposure has been linked to poor school performance. Children who grow up witnessing or experiencing IPV are more likely to have an impaired ability to concentrate, difficulty completing schoolwork, and lower scores on measures of verbal, motor, and social skills (NCTSN, 2022). In social situations and with interpersonal relationships, children who have been exposed to IPV tend to have a distorted expression of intimacy and affection. They have learned a destructive lessen about the use of violence and power in relationships and have been shown that it is acceptable to exert control to relieve stress by using violence towards others (NCTSN, 2022).
Trauma responses vary with age and developmental stage among children. The following reactions by age group was retrieved from The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) website and is specific to responses of exposure to IPV.
Birth to 5 years
Sleep and/or eating disruptions
Withdrawal/lack of responsiveness
Intense separation anxiety
Inconsolable crying
Developmental regression, loss of acquired skills
Intense anxiety, worries, and/or new fears
Increased aggression and/or impulsive behavior
6 years – 11 years
Nightmares, sleep disruptions
Aggression and difficulty with peer relationships in school
Difficulty with concentration and task completion in school
Withdrawal and/or emotional numbing
School avoidance and/or truancy
12 years – 18 years
Antisocial behavior
School failure
Impulsive and/or reckless behavior, e.g.,
School truancy
Substance abuse
Running away
Involvement in violent or abusive dating relationships
Depression
Anxiety
Withdrawal
[Retrieved from https://www.nctsn.org]
It is important to remember that children are inherently resilient and can move forward from stressful life events, including IPV. Guidance, attention, and support from family and professionals can help heal children in the aftermath of IPV.
For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.