The holiday season is a magical time, full of wonderful traditions, fun gatherings, and yummy treats. Amidst the festive decorations, shopping, preparing favorite foods, work deadlines, school activities and the anticipated gatherings, there can be a sense of pressure and tension that creeps into family dynamics. There are a variety of expectations, personality styles, financial pressures, and schedules to navigate which is why effective communication becomes even more vital during the holiday season.
Mental health symptoms have the potential to worsen as we prepare and anticipate for the holidays. With a few thoughtful strategies, we can minimize stress, worry, and fear.
1. Engage in Active Listening: Truly listen to what your loved ones and reflect on what they are saying. You can show interest in what each family member has to say by being physically and emotionally present. We all have an inherent desire to be understood.
2. Invite Opportunities for Communication: When possible, invite family members to share ideas about celebrating and gathering during the holiday. Let children know in advance of changes in routines and schedules. This can help them manage their expectations and alleviate anxious feelings. Adults can apply the same technique as you manage busy schedules by communicating plans with other family members.
3. Commit to Your Authentic Self: Gift giving can be stressful. Worried thoughts can be created by ruminating about the person receiving the gift to whether the gift fits within your budget. During this magical time of year, children are seeing increased media ads for gifts and they may have expectations that are impossible to meet. Reflect on what is important to you and follow your intuition, values, and your budget. We can acknowledge children’s desires and wishes for certain things, but we may need to manage the expectations. Have age-appropriate conversations with children explaining that gifts are one aspect of the holiday season. Communicate the other aspects of this time of year such as spending time with people we love, showing gratitude and spreading joy through acts of kindness. When children are making a wish list, help them to consider items that align with their hobbies and interests.
4. Respecting Body Boundaries: Help children set their own expectations with relatives by supporting their right to say “no” to unwanted physical affection. Allow them to give a verbal “Hello” and “Goodbye” and help them create a pre-set answer if they are nervous about answering requests for hugs or kisses if they’d prefer not to give physical affection. Assure them that you’ll support and reinforce their decision if needed.
5. Create Meaningful Traditions: Rituals and traditions promote connection. These don’t need to be expensive or elaborate. Some things that families can do together: take a walk to look at the lights, go to the library to borrow some favorite seasonal stories and have an evening of reading, or organize a cultural feast by having a potluck where neighbors and families bring a traditional dish to share. Determine which activities are important to each family member, and focus on ideas in favor of creating meaningful memories together.
6. Take-Time for Self-Care: Recognize and lean into your feelings and observe your children’s feelings. As caregivers, you know your children best. It may be more beneficial to have that quiet time and show up to an event rested versus tired, hungry, and primed to meltdown. Choose which activities are important to attend and say no to or limit time at other events to prevent over stimulating children, as well as yourself, during this busy season.
7. Managing Grief: Some families may be mourning the loss of loved ones who are no longer here to celebrate. Be patient and recognize their limitations for participating. Openly communicate and ask what would be helpful.
8. Role Model: Through the process of modeling, children can learn prosocial behaviors by observing them. Watching someone cooperate, share, take turns and demonstrate altruistic acts can teach children to show those behaviors too. In short, be mindful of your own behaviors to mitigate any undesirable behaviors this holiday season.
Written by: Sheri D.
Resources:
FAMILY SERVICE ASSOCIATION OF GLENS FALLS PROVIDES SERVICES & SUPPORT IN WARREN, WASHINGTON AND NORTHERN SARATOGA COUNTIES Homepage | Family Service Association of Glens Falls | (fsaglensfalls.org)
Guide to Holiday Events: 2023 Annual Holiday Events in the Glens Falls Region
Sources:
Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans. (2023). Apa.org. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress
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